he voted for rene gonzales and said that all homeless people should diee and when i asked him if that's really what he means he got more and more enthusiastic about it. i watched him vote. he proudly voted. for everyone sstuck outdoors to die

the way he would tell me about his cool friends and tell me i should meet them and i would love them and then never let me meet them always tell me i was not good enough to meet them "you can't go anywhere, you always have some kind of problem" etc. and sometimes i would get to eventually meet them but kyle would have abused me so much immediately before the event i was really sad or dysfunctional and would make a weird impression and then later he would tell them i don't know what about me, just something bad, something to make me look "crazy" because the narrative is that i'm "crazy" everyone he dates is "crazy" when they aren't useful to him anymore. i don't understand that. i don't understand it, because it is evil! lol. just looking at pics of ian and vern and thought of the time i met them and it was cool but also not cool because kyle had fucked me up so bad.

why do we stay in these abusive situations????

it's not all abuse! it's only abuse secretly , when he needs to get some punches in, when he needs to feel big, when

i thought he had some problem with stress or fear, some sort of mental illness maybe, and i was accepting of him and kind to him, "no kyle we don't hit each other" "no kyle let's talk like adults and tell the truth so that we can feel calm" and shit like that, but he wasn't ever interested in being honest or kind or an adult. he wanted to waste my time. he laughed at me. he was laughing at me the whole time, chuckling to himself, satisfied he fooled a sad retard. how pathetic. how repulsive. pitiful. i started writing down all these bizarre things he did that didn't seem okay to me. i started writing them down in a sort of incident log, so that i could see if i was really crazy or what, because he told me i was crazy every day. he stole from me and hid my things and he had a relationship with someone else secretly and i have no real proof he stole cash from me but i'm sure he did since i had it all there at his house. he stole jewelry from me. he gaslit me in front of people at the mall, that tattoo lady. he lied about who i was, as i stood next to him, to coworkers. he was always doing absolutely insane bullshit, just bullshit and lying, and expecting me to support his lying. Why would i support such a thing!

my god